Lost in the Garden

Share

You know, I miss you guys - my readers.  Of the many things I loved, and miss, about traveling, one was the way my day began to center around some idea or theme or observation I wanted to share with the world, or at least the world wide web.  The knowledge I would write later that day or on the train tomorrow or a bus in the night kept me always searching for something worth noting, worth sharing.  The hundreds of articles on this website show I often found it.  I miss that.  

But what do you write about in everyday life?  Do you guys really want to hear about the year-long struggle with doctors to figure out why I was gaining weight weekly regardless of my eating and exercise habits?  Heck, even my friends of tired of hearing about that. Or the horrid monotony of dragging myself into a closed-in conference room without so much as a window to walk past for eleven hours a day to do mind-numbing document review? Or the challenges of psuedo-step-mom-ing, again? 

Even the good stuff is somewhere between the laundry and the shopping - the delight I continue to have in the company of my sweetheart, the lazy days with my mom at her pool, the lovely relationship I'm finding with Dan's mother and father and the spirited family gatherings at their home, the regular visits to my Granddad's (who is still kicking!).  So much of my life is centered around family now - which is wonderful for me but deadly for my writing.  How do you write the gooey good and the sometimes sticky muck of family on a blog without sounding like you're airing out dirty laundry on the bad days and making up tall tales on the good ones?  The truth of family is always in that blend of paradox - they create, destroy, and sustain us all at one time, the very incarnations of Shiva, Brahma, and Vishnu.  

Would you want to read my tips and tricks of great-deal hunting?  I've decided my obsession with a good deal is a substitute for the fact I don't practice law anymore.  Where else am I going to satisfy a lawyer's bloodlust for a cut - I can't get a third of my clients' money so I'll save a third of mine!  Do you want to read about my thoughts on survival if this world turns upside down - which it just might - I have some great ideas but I'm just not quite assured enough of our doom to start putting them into action.  For now, they're just toys on the playground of my toddler-busy mind.  

We'll be doing some traveling soon - thanks to my tour in doc-review-hell - but a vacation is somehow just not the same as living on the road when it comes to igniting the writer's fire.  Perhaps because the purpose is to let life's virtue and truth seep back in to you in stillness and vastness rather than seeking it in the corners of unknown cobblestone paths as you do on the road.  I have a great story from our last trip a year ago that I wrote four sentences of and never finished.  

Should I write of the fear-driven dance with my own book - still a work, or should I say dream, in progress? How, like a timid new mother, I am always trying to peer inside myself for signs that it is still alive yet am always distracting myself from the reality that the only way to birth it is through the pain of bringing it forth.  Those are experiences best told in retrospect - for the daily experience is a monotony seen by all except the one in the experience, or more accurately, the avoidance.  

Today is my first day free from my conference-room-in-the-bowels-of-the-building sentence and of all the zillion things I am behind on, my very first driving desire of freedom was to visit my readers.  But to tell them what?  Maybe you can tell me?  If you've come to this site before and come back again, what brings you back?  What have you found here that warrants your time, that speaks to your soul, that calls you back again.  I love my life - my sweetheart, my family, my home, my garden, the hard sought peace within my soul - but I miss you, my readers.  Where is my path back to you again?  

Comments

[deriuqer - is it]

The passion of life is not only in your travels, dear big-sis, but also in your writings on daily life...
I was just a bit scatterminded (if that word exists) and confuzzled.. and not so motivated with whatever, cuz i am doomed to stay home this summer to finish my studies and your little peace of writing touched me. love from across the ocean.

[Larry]

I'd like to hear about the things you think are cool or interesting, that come along in day-to-day life.
How about dreams or memories, how the hobbies going, funny things that happen to you, Dan or both of you! :)