Am I The Fool?

Am I the Fool?  I asked myself as I walked down the crowded street

I see them rushing, racing, stumbling, caught in a commercial frenzy

The panic of time grips their eyes - so much to do, so much to do

There is no money to buy presents this year, and so, for me, there is little to do

I meander along; time, a new found friend, standing beside me.

I admire the wondrous window displays, gaze at the lights,

Imagine the faces that will light with joy as presents are opened and love shared.

Snowflakes dance on skyscraper sides as a smile plays upon my lips

I catch the scent of roasted peanuts in the air, the cold wind on my face,

And I am happy.

Am I the Fool?  Smiling with joy inside a parade I am outside of?

Am I the Fool?  I asked myself as I skipped merrily across Central Park

A mix of languages fills the air bringing memories of lands I have visited

I see mothers and children and remember a babe in my arms a lifetime ago, just yesterday

Lovers walk arm in arm, reminding me how much joy I have felt in love 

The traveling is done, the children are grown, there is no lover, now, today

And yet I am happy for all my life has been

Am I the Fool?  Smiling as happily for all I have lost as all I have?

Am I the Fool?  I asked myself as I sat in the darkened theatre

The music pouring around me as they tell the tale of the little match girl

Teaching the audience that in giving we receive, in opening we allow for love,

In believing we make possible all that we desire

But isn’t this obvious I think to myself as I feel the audience recoil around me

They are so lonely, so scared, yearning for a fulfillment so simple to reach and yet they can’t believe

Am I the Fool?  Smiling in the dark, believing the words of the prophet, of all the prophets?

Am I the Fool?  I asked myself as I returned to a home that isn’t mine.

It has been so long since I had a room of my own, a little place to call my own.

And yet in sharing the homes of so many, I have found my home within my own heart

Stories shared, a pillow loaned, and suddenly strangers have become friends.

New lands and languages and ways become part of my world, gifts I cherish

Am I the fool? Giving up all I had to make room for all that I have been given?

Am I the Fool? I asked myself, thinking of my lost love in the quiet of the night

He wrote me today, hard words couched in a way he thought I wouldn’t understand

Where once he saw in my foolish ways the wisdom that would bring better days

Now he cannot waste his time on such a fool at play 

Beside his was another message

A request from a friend in strife, asking for help from one he calls wise.

And yet a third thanking me for helping a friend redeemed

So many disapprove while others admire. So many judge, while others desire

So many look down while wondering if I’m right, and others look up though surely I’m wrong

It is merely perception that determines view.

And so I ask am I the fool?  Believing blindly, fearing nothing, loving deeply, living openly, giving and receiving freely?

I snuggle deeper into my borrowed blanket, a smile on my lips for the beauty that is my life,

Warmed by the happiness in my heart, filled with faith in my dreams

As I am gently rocked to sleep by the peace in my soul, I whisper to the room.

If this peace and joy inside is what it means to be foolish, personally,

I’d rather play the fool. 

Comments

[steff]

Hi there Sherry!

Still like a lot to read you. Luckily I have a bit of time to write back and share thoughts today.

You are no more a fool than anyone of us I think. Life is not an easy thing - we just all struggle and try our best, for the better or the worst depending on days and our own state of mind ;)
In richness as in poverty, amongst thousands as in loneliness I think the key to hapiness is simply to stay true to yourself. The rest : what people think, whealth, etc. is all appearances and of little importance in the end. It comes, it goes and you never know what life has in store for you isn't it? Keep enjoying all those lil' details that make life so diverse and varied and amazing, those slight things that too often go unnoticed : the smile of a kid, snow, butterflies, morning sunrays, flowers blossoming in springtime, having your loved ones around...
The world can be so full of beauty for the ones that know how to just stop and look around and keep the soul and curiosity of a child.

Warm hugs from France! :)

Steff