Sunday , September 17, 2006
I wish couchsurfing had been around when I was in my twenties – not that I had much party time between being a single mom in law school or married with three children, but it still would have been nice to have some place where I felt such a deep sense of belonging. When I was growing up, communities were built around geography - towns, schools, neighborhoods. If you were a little different, you just didn’t fit and that was it. You might could find another outcast but often your only bond was the fact that you were outcast and you knew the bond was built on shifting ground.
I could talk for hours about the amazing changes the internet revolution has brought to our world, but one particularly interesting change is the sudden ability to create communities out of connections based on common interest rather than common geography. Twenty years ago if you wanted to find the hundred other people in the country who recreated Land of the Lost scenes in miniature - good luck. Chances are you didn’t even think they existed – you sat alone in your strange little world wondering why you were so different and playing with Sleestak and Pakuni action figures. Now, a few clicks of the button and you can find every Land of the Lost cult classic member in the world and be chatting with them in minutes about whether there was incestuous sexual tension between Will and Holly.
Couchsurfing.com is built on this sudden ability to connect and be connected to anyone, anywhere. It is truly an amazing community, built around a simple love for exploring new worlds and belief in connecting our world. Parties and meetings are held all over the world and you know when you walk into one that chances are there will be someone there you know and if not you will have no problem making friends or finding something to talk about. A simple “who have you surfed?” or “who have you hosted” will start an endless conversation and almost inevitably lead to the discovery of someone or many someones you both know or places you’ve both been.
Case in point. I met Tiina in Finland – a cute-as-a-button blonde with shining eyes and a bright smile that can light up any room. She is originally from Finland but had just relocated to Amsterdam. When I decided to head to Holland, I dropped her a line to see if we could meet up. She told me there was a CS party in Rotterdam that Saturday. I did a search for hosts in Rotterdam and saw Urbian’s profile and sent an email asking if he could host me for the party. “Sure,” came the reply. I ended up not making the party, but Urbian and I hit it off so well with our teasing relationship, I ended up staying in Rotterdam a few days. Thursday a couchsurfer-turned-friend, Leila, calls to say she’s on her way to visit. She had surfed Urbian a year before, and they developed a big brother – little sis relationship. At 20 she is well traveled, multi-lingual, quite mature, and about as much of a-know-it all as I was at 20; a prerequisite I think to early maturity. I liked her instantly though our obstinate characters challenged our interaction a bit. Meanwhile Tiina told me there would be another party in Paris for another couchsurfer, Antoine’s, birthday and invited me to come. When Leila arrived from Portugal it turned out Antoine had hosted her previously and had invited her to come as well. Little did I know at the time that I had actually met Antoine at the collective in Vienna two months ago. So Urbian, Leila, and I load up in the car and head to Paris. Much to my surprise I knew a fourth of the people there personally and knew the rest by no more than two degrees of separation. So it took a random meeting in Finland to bring me to Paris where I met friends I had made in Vienna. Do you know how small that makes the world feel? How connected our human race can be?
I envy these kids their ability to make these connections, see these lands, build this community, and participate so intimately with this world. The possibilities are endless, the opportunity for connection incomprehensible. One of the features of the couchsurfing site is the “how you know this person” field. When I pull up a profile on a search, it will show me if I know the person within four degrees of separation. If my friend, Kim, hosted a surfer, Mike, who was friends with Sammy, who stayed with the guy whose profile I am now looking at, it will show me the connection. Imagine if you could see the whole world that way? The person you know who knows the person who knows a person you think you are unconnected with. Could we still drop bombs? Would we still need to? I believe in the possibility of a single tribe called mankind; I believe in a community that includes everyone – because whether we would like to think of it that way or not, we have one. These kids are changing the world by connecting it. It is beautiful to watch.
The party was great – typical in that it involved beer, a bar, and twenty-somethings – but different in that it involved a shared spirit not for a sports game or college or job, but a shared spirit of man. At 3am Leila took off to see the Eiffel Tower while Urbian, Helene who we had met, and I took a taxi to our hosts’ apartment. We had not even met one of our hosts and had talked with the other only a few minutes at the party. They had left us a key under the mat to drop off our stuff and freshen up when we arrived, never having laid eyes on us. We let ourselves in and in moments I was sound asleep on the couch. I remember the kindness that exuded in the energy of someone pulling a blanket over me. I was too deep in sleep to open my eyes to see who it was and instead began dreaming about the kindness of angels. The next thing I saw was Mhenna, our host, as he carried a tray filled with French croissants, jam, yogurt, and tea into the living room. He told me when he had come in a few hours before, I was curled up like a cat and he had covered me up – so that was my kindhearted angel. Leila had returned during the night and was on the couch across the room with Urbian on the third couch between us. We roused our hungover selves and chatted with Mhenna. A few minutes later the bell rang, it was Antoine, the birthday boy, and his American surfer, Marnie, who hails from my alma mater city of Austin, Texas. The ease with which friends and strangers alike can sit in a room most have never seen before, hungover, some in clothes some still in pajamas, all from different countries, sharing croissants, tea, conversation, and camaraderie is an astounding testament to the community of man. The only community we all belong to and one, thanks to the internet, we can all find ways to connect to.
Ahah, I share the same amazement about the couchsurfing community and the feeling that the world is so small. Wherever you come from, however long your experience has been, you will instantly feel this family-like link. Sherry, you have awesome travel memories and the writing gift to make people live through your lines.
Posted by: Bastien | May 13, 2007 at 03:23 PM