Thursday, August 24, 2006
It was a hell of a price to pay – twenty-two extra hours of travel time to go north through Finland before cutting over to Norway, but it was worth it just to shake the Big Man’s hand, personally, while actually standing in the Arctic Circle. He explained to me that he has several houses during his non-traveling months, the one at the North Pole being his favorite and, surprisingly, the one in Australia his second favorite. I told him I actually knew about the other homes after my debate with a Dane about whether he lived in Greenland. See Danes are quite belligerent about that so I was forced to google where exactly he lived. I was surprised to find out how many “official” postal addresses he had! You can address his letters to specific places – including Alaska, Canada, Greenland, Australia, or where I was, just outside Rovaniemi, Finland, or you can just write his name, in any given language, in which case the local post office will forward it to one of his official addresses. Most likely it will be forwarded to the post office I was just at a few minutes ago with the happy little helper elves, one of whom offered to put stamps on my post cards so I could have time to say hi to the man and still catch my bus.
So thanks to his sweet helper Elf, Santa and I sat there chatting about twenty minutes. Thankfully there was an oversized stool next to him so I wasn’t on his lap. He looked like a fairly robust Santa but I don’t think anyone would want me sitting on their lap twenty minutes, well, not with clothes on any way…. Is it morally wrong to make a sex joke in a sentence about Santa?
So we chatted about the weather and my trip and where I was from. I had a dumb blonde moment, forgetting of course that I was talking to Santa himself and not one of those mall look-alikes for the kiddies. When I told him I was from Charlotte, he said, “oh yes – know the place well. Have been there several times.” Oh really?!” I responded, surprised of course that he would have had any reason to be in Charlotte. He said “Yes, yes, it was about eight months ago I think.” I still didn’t catch it. “Really, whereabouts? What were you doing there?” I asked; actually excited at the thought Santa had been in my city. He hesitated for just a minute which must have been my subconscious clue. “Oh, well, it was a quick trip through really.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. Eight months ago. Santa. Of course he had been in Charlotte, he would have been in every city on the planet – that would have been Christmas Eve, almost to the day. I felt like an idiot. “Uh, oh, yeah, yeah of course, eight months ago.” I stammered. “Oh, but you couldn’t find me. I didn’t have a home then for you to come to.” “Well, where will you be this year?” he asked “I’ll make sure I stop by.” I told him I didn’t think I’d have a home again this year either, but I’d send him a card once I got settled again.
He asked some more about my travels and what I was writing. I explained a bit, asked if he had read any Bill Bryson travel books who writes the closest to the style I am writing. He said no so I recommended a few books. And then, get this, I gave him my card! I told SANTA to check out my website, that I’d put a link for the Bill Bryson books on there and he could read about our chat. SANTA! It seemed at first the most natural thing in the world – I hand everyone my card when they ask about the writing. But SANTA?! What a trip that would be – to have Santa reading my blogs. Santa, if you read this, post a comment, please. No one would ever believe me.
By the way, the movie was right. He changed easily between languages and spoke English with the indeterminable accent that tends to happen once people speak seven or more languages fluently. We shook hands good-bye and he wished me luck and promised me again that he and Rudy would swing by when I settled down again.
See, I told you guys he was real!
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